October 27, 1970..

I was born. It was a beautiful fall day in Killeen, Texas. The jewel-toned leaves fell softly to the ground. The heavens rejoiced at the arrival of earth's newest angel. Oh who am I kidding....I have no idea what happend but the Killeen, Texas part is true enough. My father was serving in the United States Army at Fort Hood, Texas. For as long as I can remember my father has introduced me as his daughter, Jennifer, the one who was born in Texas, but don't hold it against her!

I grew up with a younger brother and younger sister. We didn't stay in Texas long. No, my parents were and also will be sooners. Growing up, I was a good kid. I was too afraid of getting into trouble so I rarely muddied the waters. I was shy. Painfully shy. People that know me now will call me an out and out liar but it's true. So now I ask you.....

Would this face lie to you?

I think not.

I was shy but always competitive and extremely goal-oriented. From the time I was born I knew I was destined for one of two careers. Choreographer. Or Nun. A serious car accident my senior year in high school ended my dance career abruptly. As far as the nun thing? Well.......turns out I'm not what you might call "nun material." AND.....as my mother always reminded me, I'm not Catholic. So there you go. I remember once being described as "having a flair." Not sure what the intended meaning was but I took it as a compliment. A flair for the dramatics, maybe? I did spend a semester in college as a music theatre major. That ended when I figured out they expected me to sing. Turns out, not such a good idea. Eventually I turned my aspirations to writing. Through a round about way, I ended up in communications. I think I took every speech class the university offered. Turned out, I wasn't so shy afterall.

I remember having an assigment once where we had to write a paper about our goals. What did we envision our life looking like at various stages in our life. I wrote about my life at 25. I wanted to have just been married and be a crazy successful writer. In actuality, I was very single (and loving it) and I WAS working for the state's largest newspaper (in advertising). My paper also took me five more years down the road into my magical crystal ball to see my life at 30. I was still so happily married, 2 kids, a boy and a girl (obviously!) and now a pretty successful author by New York Times standards (as if any other standards matter). Actually, when I was 30, i was still working at the state's largest newspaper - (for a newspaper a lot like the New York Times, except it was small, not well-respected and in Wichita, KS), Atleast I was very happily married and a proud momma, not to a boy and a girl but 2 girls, the second one not being born until I was 35.
I don't know why I never looked beyond that 30th year. I guess I thought what was the point, by 30, I would be ruling MY world. Yeah, cause that's the way the world works, right?
So here I sit. 39 years old. 39 years and 3 months wondering what to do next. Where will this road lead me? I've taken several right turns in the last couple of years. My family and I have moved home to Oklahoma, my career is on hiatus. My dream of becoming a best-selling author has faded into becoming the best mother I can be. So I had an idea. This shy girl from Killeen, Texas (go ahead and hold it against me, i can take it!) has some things to accomplish and it starts right now. Over the next couple days I am going to be compiling a list. 40 things to accomplish by my 40th birthday. I am going to be realistic - you won't see any, "i want to cure the common cold, bring peace to the world or even run a marathon but I AM going to challenge myself to break these binding ties, to be a better me. I hope along the way, to meet new friends, learn a thing or two about myself and prove once and for all, life really does begin at 40!